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 Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)

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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Thu Jul 07, 2016 8:03 am



You only roast the ones you love. Ahhh, what a saying. What a tradition. And it is the offseason, so what the hell? Let's roast eachother. One by one, we will go through rosters, franchise moves, the draft, and any personal thing you can find funny about the owner in an attempt to show your respect for them. Please take everything with a grain of salt, no hard feelings, and if someone tears you apart, go after them in their roast. Without further ado, I open up the roast of Dave, of the Norfolk Bombers!




I would like to start off this roast by saying that Dave is a pretty cool dude. But does anyone else wonder by looking at his picture if he likes penises in his mouth? Also, nice job photoshopping sunglasses on.

The number one thing that stuck out to me while looking at your roster was how shitty your WR's are. Really bad dude, but good thing you still have Calvin Johnson. He will help you. Besides that you have KA, which is always healthy....   You have Cecil Shorts? He is still in the league? Mike Wallace? Holy balls. Good thing the WR position doesn't score any points in RW.  surprised

Your logo tells a lot about you. Shows that you love to get fisted by guys.

It is a good thing you are in TT because I don't know if you would win more than 4 games in the better conference.

Dave has a 27-21 record in RW, and is one of the originals. Good thing you got your wins in before people actually figured out how the league was set up.

I see you were the worst of the best last year, good thing you can choke better than anyone here, you are just like the Dolphins.

In all seriousness, Dave is a model member of RW. Original, contributes on a consistent basis, and the league is lucky to have you. Hopefully the league unleashes fury on you and you take it with ease like you take the fistings.  laughing


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Indiana Mayhem
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Thu Jul 07, 2016 9:04 am

All I know about Dave is he loves Notre Dame.  True fan after me here at the Roster Wars.  He does seem to draft with his eyes closed and by throwing darts.   If he had any strategy he wouldnt be the best of the worst as Nick calls him.


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Littleton SilverBallers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Thu Jul 07, 2016 9:05 am

Wow Dave.....I thought your team was ok, but damn dude! You have to have the weakest WRs I have ever seen. It looks like you have to learn how to play fantasy football again, because it looks like you forgot!


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Thu Jul 07, 2016 10:09 am

When I look at Dave's team I yawn. Then a perk up a little, chuckle when I remember how Dave used to point out at every turn how bad my team was for the first few years and how he wouldn't have a chance against me if we played today or in the next 20 years. Then to stop being a cunt, I look at his team again and realize there are MANY teams that would hope to be in his position and how several key players on his squad spark that feeling and how those same players happen to be on my roster.

Which makes me realize...Dave is copying me!?!?!?!?! After running his mouth he is now resorting to flat out trying to mimic my decisions. I'm flattered you equally argumentative cunt! lol3


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Tarpon Springs RedKnights
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Thu Jul 07, 2016 10:34 am

Wow Nick talking about Dave's face and other stuff. Kinda took it personal there huh?

Ok Dave... I used to hate Dave. Because he was with TT and they all think they are so smart over there. But I don't hate Dave anymore. I don't hate him any less either.
Dave is a cool dude a guy you could have a beer with while talking about the breaking news of Greg murdering a group of senior citizens because they crossed the road too slow. Nevertheless I won't be drinking with Dave anytime soon cause Dave looks like a guy that hates Olive Skinned Mediterranean people. I can tell by his picture that he has some mongoloid Turkish blood. Therefore I won't share a beer with him anytime soon! You killed and starved my ancestors Dave! You and your Turk oppressors! Να πας να γαμιθις βρομο Τούρκο!


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Thu Jul 07, 2016 10:39 am

Tarpon Springs RedKnights wrote:
Να πας να γαμιθις βρομο Τούρκο!  

Translation: "Dave, you can bomb my olive skin anytime!"


laughing


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Rocky Mountain Oysters
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Thu Jul 07, 2016 7:00 pm

Να πας να γαμιθις βρομο Τούρκο = Do you go fuck yourself bromo Turkish (according to my translator anyway).


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Norfolk Bombers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Thu Jul 07, 2016 8:51 pm

I am not Turkish, if anything I am Italian...


cool2



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Tarpon Springs RedKnights
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Thu Jul 07, 2016 8:55 pm

Norfolk Bombers wrote:
I am not Turkish, if anything I am Italian...


cool2


Thats exactly what a turk would say!


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Norfolk Bombers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Thu Jul 07, 2016 8:58 pm

ROFL





mischieveous


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Maple Grove Mean Machine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Fri Jul 08, 2016 8:29 am

Insurance? Man, you need it with the sludge you have on your roster. While you are at it, get some for Andy as well.


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Rocky Mountain Oysters
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Fri Jul 08, 2016 9:46 am



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Mohawk Ridge Marauders
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Mon Sep 05, 2016 9:52 am

What do the Detroit Lions and the Norfolk Bombers have in common?

Both of them wasted Calvin Johnson's career with a shitty team.


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England Dragons
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Mon Sep 05, 2016 2:41 pm

Mohawk Ridge Marauders wrote:
What do the Detroit Lions and the Norfolk Bombers have in common?

Both of them wasted Calvin Johnson's career with a shitty team.  

ROFL

Ouch! That was worth bringing up an old roast for!


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Norfolk Bombers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 8- Norfolk Bombers (Dave)   Mon Sep 05, 2016 6:18 pm

baghead2


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