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  Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)

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Rocky Mountain Oysters
 
 
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PostSubject: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sat Feb 03, 2018 10:55 am



You only roast the ones you love. Ahhh, what a saying. What a tradition. And it is the offseason, so what the hell? Let's roast each other. One by one, we will go through rosters, franchise moves, the draft, and any personal thing you can find funny about the owner in an attempt to show your respect for them. Please take everything with a grain of salt, no hard feelings, and if someone tears you apart, go after them in their roast. Without further ado, we continue the roasting series with Bern from the Nevada NightHawks!




Bern, you know how much all of us love SMAK.  We are amazed at the accuracy of the scientific formulas that go into the predictions and always look forward to them.  Whenever we see that there is a new posting related to SMAK, this is what we think -



And we all are impressed with the tremendous effort you put into saving your 3rd highest scoring LB, Ogletree, in last year's RFA's.  Especially Carla -



And who can't respect the cheerleading gig you've got on the weekends -



All in good fun.  Bottom line - this place wouldn't be the same without you, Bern!


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sat Feb 03, 2018 12:12 pm

I miss the roasts.


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sat Feb 03, 2018 12:18 pm

Bern likes stats so much I feel I should start liking them less so there is more for him. laughing


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Polk High Panthers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sat Feb 03, 2018 12:46 pm

Bern at age 12



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Maplewood Doppelgangers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sat Feb 03, 2018 2:08 pm

Thanks for all the hard work you put into your articles, even though I skip over the stuff you put the most effort into!


Just kidding! You do a great job of getting everyone to kill an hour trying to decipher all those numbers and other gobbledygook.


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Haddonfield Slashers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sat Feb 03, 2018 2:14 pm

Bern donated his mustache to the Local High School Custodian to use after the custodian's broom was stolen.   Always willing to step up in a time of crisis.  Thanks for all you do Bern!


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Carolina Silverbacks
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sat Feb 03, 2018 6:57 pm

Haddonfield Slashers wrote:
Bern donated his mustache to the Local High School Custodian to use after the custodian's broom was stolen.   Always willing to step up in a time of crisis.  Thanks for all you do Bern!

lol3


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Indiana Mayhem
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sun Feb 04, 2018 7:57 am

I like Bern by "default"


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sun Feb 04, 2018 8:05 am

Hey Bern, what’s 432 divided by 3? It’s 7. Does that drive you nuts?


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Cyclone City Falcons
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:16 am

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Toontown Wolverines
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:34 am

Bern will forever be in the shadow of Tom Selleck and that drives him insane.


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Nevada NightHawks
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sun Feb 04, 2018 11:21 am

I'm not sure if it's normal to post on your own roast, but God Damn Nick!




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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sun Feb 04, 2018 11:38 am

Nevada NightHawks wrote:
I'm not sure if it's normal to post on your own roast, but God Damn Nick!



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


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Bergen Brawlers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Sun Feb 04, 2018 12:15 pm

Bern is so old that pi was only 3.112 when he was born.


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Littleton SilverBallers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:50 am

Awesome stuff Ed!

Nick - I laughed a lot when I read what you put! Funny Shit right there


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Indiana Mayhem
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Mon Feb 05, 2018 11:04 am

Bergen Brawlers wrote:
Bern is so old that pi was only 3.112 when he was born.

Poor Bern.....but dang this is funny, Russ LOL


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Rocky Mountain Oysters
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:12 am

Bern in Statistics class.



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Southside Spartans
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:19 am



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Nevada NightHawks
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Tue Feb 06, 2018 11:48 am

I take my stats very seriously!  Here's my college Statistics grades:






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Toontown Wolverines
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Tue Feb 06, 2018 11:59 am

Nevada NightHawks wrote:
I take my stats very seriously!  Here's my college Statistics grades:




I took stats in University... sat for 2 weeks not understanding a word the teacher from Pakistan was saying.  I finally asked a girl beside me what were supposed to do if we don't understand, she said that on the first day he said "sorry for my accent, if you don't understand me, you should drop the class."  How was I to understand that he said that, lol.


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Norfolk Bombers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 25- Nevada NightHawks (Bern)   Tue Feb 06, 2018 6:15 pm

Nevada NightHawks wrote:
I take my stats very seriously!  Here's my college Statistics grades:





All kidding aside Bern, I have a minor in Actuarial Mathematics....


Not that I ever did anything with it.

Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad



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