HomeLog inRegisterFAQSearch
x
x
x
x
x
Log in
Username:
Password:
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password
x

Share | 
 

 The Fragile Generation

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
avatar

Posts : 5393

PostSubject: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:24 am

This was a really good article on Reason.com about kids growing up nowadays vs. when some of us grew up. The backdrop for why everyone is offended about every little thing.

http://reason.com/archives/2017/10/26/the-fragile-generation


There's so many good aspects to the article that it's hard to name just one but I really like that they highlight the lack of play by kids w/o supervision as a really harming our kids when they grow into adulthood. Drove me insane that my kids' school took away recess when they were in the 4th grade. Luckily, a number of parents bitched and they re-instituted it. But, the inability of kids to play without adults structuring the game stinks.


Back to top Go down
Titletown Tyrants
 
 
avatar

Posts : 11326

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 8:47 am

Wow, great read. We always talk about the differences in when we grew up to now. Just sent it to my wife, as I often tell her she coddles our daughter.  laughing


Back to top Go down
Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
avatar

Posts : 5393

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:16 am

It is good. I just started watching the youtube article that is embedded in that article and it's interesting as well. It's 25 min long. But, I think I'm going to have my kids watch it. It's funny that I saw this today, b/c my youngest and I are watchign Stranger Things together and it's odd b/c Stranger Things has essentially 13-ish kids who grew up in the same time frame that I did. My son is shocked... Wait, a minute.. you could just yell out to your parents that you were going to Zane's and hop on your bike and go??? Uhhh, yup.. and so can you. Get the hell out of the house.


Back to top Go down
Titletown Tyrants
 
 
avatar

Posts : 11326

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:21 am

So I forwarded my coworkers and we are now having a convo in the office about it. Man I remember getting done with school, hopping on my bike and going to my friends. My mom would open the door and call out for me for dinner, I would come, wolf down some food, then head back out until the street lights turned on. Then she would call out again, and I would see how much time I could milk out of the night. Weekends were obviously different, playing night games like ghost in the graveyard, and kick the can.


Back to top Go down
Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
avatar

Posts : 5393

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:23 am

Another aspect I find interesting in the article was the line about Moral Dependancy.  That people are too easily offended.   We all know that it's different today how everyone is so easily offended, but weird to put into perspective reasoning and data behind why they are...  

Quote :
This magnification of danger and hurt is prevalent on campus today. It no longer matters what a person intended to say, or how a reasonable listener would interpret a statement—what matters is whether any individual feels offended by it. If so, the speaker has committed a "microaggression," and the offended party's purely subjective reaction is a sufficient basis for emailing a dean or filing a complaint with the university's "bias response team." The net effect is that both professors and students today report that they are walking on eggshells. This interferes with the process of free inquiry and open debate—the active ingredients in a college education.


Back to top Go down
Kane County Goon Squad
 
 
avatar

Posts : 8246

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:23 am

the pussifacation is real


Back to top Go down
Online
Kane County Goon Squad
 
 
avatar

Posts : 8246

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:58 am

just read this - very good article


Back to top Go down
Online
Nevada NightHawks
 
 
avatar

Posts : 3601

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 10:59 am

Growing up on a dairy farm as a kid is a whole different story.  I could probably write a response as long as the article.  Driving and working farm equipment by the age of 10.  Some of that equipment could swallow a kid whole.  How did my dad train me?  He would say, "You know why Johnny's dad is missing his arm?  It got stuck in an auger like this.  Keep your hands and arms out of there."  He would then watch and see how I did it the first time, and then I was on my own.

The biggest difference I see nowadays is problem solving skills.  On the dairy, there was no owner's manual on how to do things.  My dad would look at a situation or problem, and come up with an idea on how to fix it. If it didn't work, he tried another approach.  You used common sense, trial & error. 

My favorite line of the article:
Quote :
To combat this problem, we have established a new nonpartisan nonprofit, the Let Grow Foundation.

More studies. More research.  ROFL

Doomed!  We're all doomed, I tell ya.  i dont know


Back to top Go down
Edinburgh Galacticos
 
 
avatar

Posts : 695

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 6:15 pm

Cool read. Me and my wife discuss this all the time. It sucks kids can't have the same freedoms we did, but I understand it too.
Like most things it's balance. I want my kid to be free to scrape her knees and climb trees, but you have keep them safe too.


Back to top Go down
Titletown Tyrants
 
 
avatar

Posts : 11326

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:20 pm

I don't understand. Are there more sicko's than before? Are there more people doing drugs? What exactly is worse than it was before? Is it just that we know more about stuff now because of the internet and social media that has people paranoid?


Back to top Go down
Minnesota Eternals
 
 
avatar

Posts : 23763

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Tue Oct 31, 2017 7:57 pm

I'm hoping to check everything out tomorrow...but this topic interests me very much. I have been guilty of sheltering my kid more than I should have but gotten better and nowhere near as bad as some.

@Nick...the internet is to blame for lots of things. I doubt things are that much different but you now hear about EVERYTHING and when we were kids people only heard about local shit or huge shit is my guess.


Back to top Go down
Minnesota Eternals
 
 
avatar

Posts : 23763

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:56 pm

Finally had a chance. Great read and great video. I wish I would have seen this years ago because I'm certainly guilty of some shit that falls under this umbrella.

Definitely gonna have my son check out the video.

Thanks for sharing this Brad.


Back to top Go down
Manhattan Beach Militia
 
 
avatar

Posts : 476

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:06 pm

Great read and video. I too have been guilty of sheltering my two daughters and have to constantly remind myself to back off a bit. I know they would appreciate if I did.


Back to top Go down
Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
avatar

Posts : 5393

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:13 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
I don't understand. Are there more sicko's than before? Are there more people doing drugs? What exactly is worse than it was before? Is it just that we know more about stuff now because of the internet and social media that has people paranoid?

Andy's correct. I think we hear about it more now.

I can't recall if it was the article or the video that said in essence that crime is at the same levels as 1963... but reporting of those crimes is crazy.


Back to top Go down
Minnesota Eternals
 
 
avatar

Posts : 23763

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Wed Nov 01, 2017 9:25 pm

Whiskey Creek Gadabouts wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
I don't understand. Are there more sicko's than before? Are there more people doing drugs? What exactly is worse than it was before? Is it just that we know more about stuff now because of the internet and social media that has people paranoid?

Andy's correct.  I think we hear about it more now.  

I can't recall if it was the article or the video that said in essence that crime is at the same levels as 1963... but reporting of those crimes is crazy.

Both the article and the video state that.


Back to top Go down
Riverside Rottweilers
 
 
avatar

Posts : 880

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:53 pm

Great article. Glad that even though I'm part of the young generation, I still had plenty of experiences where my parents just let me go out and play with the other kids from the neighborhood (but I still had to call and check in with them every so often).

There's obviously a variety of reasons why there's not as much unsupervised time for kids these days, but from experience the #1 thing that ended my childhood was school. Right at about 12 years old, sports, clubs, and homework takes over. Eventually, I had to make the difficult choice of playing high school sports or focusing my time on college prep classes.

At my school, if you weren't staying after school until like 9pm for sports, clubs, or internships, then you were falling behind preparing for college.


Back to top Go down
Southside Spartans
 
 
avatar

Posts : 572

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Thu Nov 02, 2017 12:31 pm

Great article. Thanks for posting it Brad.

I push my kids more than my "peers" think is right sometimes and I've taken some flack in the past. Nothing crazy but I give them freedom to screw up in a "safe manner". After reading this article though I'm little worried not doing near enough and still being overly protective. Has made me think a lot the last couple days.

I think the saying "Prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child" is going to stick with me from that article.


Back to top Go down
MobTown Ravens
 
 
avatar

Posts : 603

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Thu Nov 02, 2017 1:23 pm

Good article.....major aspects of our culture that brought about significant changes to how children are being raised....early 90s when due to the economy mother's had to start working again, loss of sense of community, less trust amongst people and in schools, government.
As a school principal I found that 25 years ago a "safety net" was put in place my parents....children shouldn't be allowed to fail, everyone must succeed and "I don't want my kid" to be too different"


Back to top Go down
http://www.gomariposa.org/
Titletown Tyrants
 
 
avatar

Posts : 11326

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:35 pm

MobTown Ravens wrote:
Good article.....major aspects of our culture that brought about significant changes to how children are being raised....early 90s when due to the economy mother's had to start working again, loss of sense of community, less trust amongst people and in schools, government.
As a school principal I found that 25 years ago a "safety net" was put in place my parents....children shouldn't be allowed to fail, everyone must succeed and "I don't want my kid" to be too different"

I had an interesting thing happen this summer. My daughter is 7, but she plays for a club that is competitive, soccer team. Apparently they aren't supposed to keep score until 10 for some wacked reason. She had a tournament, where they played U10, and got beaten in 2 of the 3 games. Everyone got a medal after the tournament. She was proud of the medal. On the way home, she said, "I am so happy we won our first tournament".... I felt bad but I could not bite my tongue. I told her that she did not win the tournament, and that everyone got a medal, and that she should be proud of the way she played, but they did not win the tournament. 

I was torn. I want her to feel good about herself, but I want her to be real. I don't want her to think she won just because she participated either. I often find myself in a struggle on what to say in so many situations, because I want to raise her to have confidence, but be strong and I hope I can do that without being a jerk.


Back to top Go down
Kane County Goon Squad
 
 
avatar

Posts : 8246

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Thu Nov 02, 2017 2:46 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
MobTown Ravens wrote:
Good article.....major aspects of our culture that brought about significant changes to how children are being raised....early 90s when due to the economy mother's had to start working again, loss of sense of community, less trust amongst people and in schools, government.
As a school principal I found that 25 years ago a "safety net" was put in place my parents....children shouldn't be allowed to fail, everyone must succeed and "I don't want my kid" to be too different"

I had an interesting thing happen this summer. My daughter is 7, but she plays for a club that is competitive, soccer team. Apparently they aren't supposed to keep score until 10 for some wacked reason. She had a tournament, where they played U10, and got beaten in 2 of the 3 games. Everyone got a medal after the tournament. She was proud of the medal. On the way home, she said, "I am so happy we won our first tournament".... I felt bad but I could not bite my tongue. I told her that she did not win the tournament, and that everyone got a medal, and that she should be proud of the way she played, but they did not win the tournament. 

I was torn. I want her to feel good about herself, but I want her to be real. I don't want her to think she won just because she participated either. I often find myself in a struggle on what to say in so many situations, because I want to raise her to have confidence, but be strong and I hope I can do that without being a jerk.
I don't have kids, but I approve

high five


Back to top Go down
Online
Southside Spartans
 
 
avatar

Posts : 572

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:43 pm

Nick...I think you handled it really well and did the right thing. Since we're in the trust tree here I'll share a not so proud parenting moment I had where I didn't :/.

My son has been doing competitive martial arts for a while but his first tournament he was in he finished 3rd and IMO quit half way in the semi-final match when he got down a few points. He cried when the match was over because he lost (he was probably 6) but stopped and got all happy when he found out he got a medal. I was a little disappointed in him that he obviously quit and got so upset for losing that on the ride home for some reason or other I asked if he was going to keep the medal. He was surprised and asked why and I said because it would just remind me how I quit in a match and lost because of it. Yeah...definitely not the best way to handle that situation. Thankfully it turned into a learning moment where later we discussed that you can't quit if things aren't going right and you have to learn to both win and lose because you will lose more as you get older. It stuck with him because he's been much better at both since and even donates a lot of his "awards" to kids in the local hospitals but the look in his eye when I said that to him in my truck that day still kills me. I definitely went the jerk route and still regret it and feel bad. Guess we both learned something that day...the whole give advice in love thing for me. Thankfully I've been a lot better with that also.

Side note...he still has that 3rd place medal. We found it under his bed when cleaning his room this summer and he told me it reminds him to "try not to ever lose but be ok if it happens and try harder next time".


Back to top Go down
Southside Spartans
 
 
avatar

Posts : 572

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:51 pm

With all that it's definitely a tough thing balancing these types of situations with kids. I want to always make everything all right but I know that's not the best for them so I hold back. Sometimes (obviously) I even take the 'tougher love' side just to make a point.

It drives me NUTS tho because my nieces think they are the best at EVERYTHING because that's all they've ever been told. When things go even the slightest bit south they lose their minds. Makes me wonder what's going to happen to them as they get older and things that are real problems with real consequences start happening to them.


Back to top Go down
Titletown Tyrants
 
 
avatar

Posts : 11326

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Fri Nov 03, 2017 9:22 am

Southside Spartans wrote:
With all that it's definitely a tough thing balancing these types of situations with kids.  I want to always make everything all right but I know that's not the best for them so I hold back.  Sometimes (obviously) I even take the 'tougher love' side just to make a point.

It drives me NUTS tho because my nieces think they are the best at EVERYTHING because that's all they've ever been told.  When things go even the slightest bit south they lose their minds.  Makes me wonder what's going to happen to them as they get older and things that are real problems with real consequences start happening to them.

Yep, as you know, I coach High School Soccer. We had our preseason meeting last night, to highlight how the offseason will unfold, etc. We are going to have a lot of unhappy Juniors, for the bolded fact. Everyone thinks they are freaking Lionel Messi because mom and dad have told them that since they were out of the whom. Reality check time.


Back to top Go down
Southside Spartans
 
 
avatar

Posts : 572

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Fri Nov 03, 2017 11:23 am

I helped out with AAU tryouts a couple weeks ago and was surprised to learn there's a procedure for cutting players now that teams in the area have adopted. When I played guys that missed the cut either didn't get the invite, didn't get their name called at end of tryout, or didn't see their name on the list the next day. With this particular event we had to have 'report cards' for every player that graded various skills and explains why they didn't make the team and things they can work on. The official team coaches had to personally give each player/ parent the sheet and be available to discuss with them if they wanted. In concept it's a better way to handle it BUT the card couldn't be worded negatively for any aspect and we couldn't give an evaluation worse than 'average' for any skill and they wanted us to use the one higher than that so kids didn't get feelings hurt. I was pretty glad I was just helping with tryouts and didn't have to deal with that.


Back to top Go down
Riverside Rottweilers
 
 
avatar

Posts : 880

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Fri Nov 03, 2017 11:34 am

Southside Spartans wrote:
I helped out with AAU tryouts a couple weeks ago and was surprised to learn there's a procedure for cutting players now that teams in the area have adopted.  When I played guys that missed the cut either didn't get the invite, didn't get their name called at end of tryout, or didn't see their name on the list the next day.  With this particular event we had to have 'report cards' for every player that graded various skills and explains why they didn't make the team and things they can work on.  The official team coaches had to personally give each player/ parent the sheet and be available to discuss with them if they wanted.  In concept it's a better way to handle it BUT the card couldn't be worded negatively for any aspect and we couldn't give an evaluation worse than 'average' for any skill and they wanted us to use the one higher than that so kids didn't get feelings hurt.  I was pretty glad I was just helping with tryouts and didn't have to deal with that.

Sometimes player's with less skill make the team ahead of someone with more skill if they show that they can be a good teammate and are willing to learn.

I feel like anything that involves grading peoples children will only lead to more arguments with the parents.



Back to top Go down
MobTown Ravens
 
 
avatar

Posts : 603

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Fri Nov 03, 2017 12:51 pm

During my days as a school principal I've always been a firm believer and supporter of getting as many students involved in as many activities as possible...so have never been a advocate of cuts.
If we have 75 football players out and need more coaches, its my job as principal to get the additional $$ to get the coaches...to have a C team schedule.  Even if those kids get 2-3 games, they're involved, identify with the school more, as do their parents.
Likewise if we have 60 band students..and more support is needed I got it.
Contrary to what a lot of coaches, players the public at large of the purpose of a high school is to provide a wide range of activities for all students, not be a training ground for a select few, very few, who are going on to participate in college sports.


Back to top Go down
http://www.gomariposa.org/
Maplewood Doppelgangers
 
 
avatar

Posts : 3251

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Fri Nov 03, 2017 1:46 pm

MobTown Ravens wrote:
During my days as a school principal I've always been a firm believer and supporter of getting as many students involved in as many activities as possible...so have never been a advocate of cuts.
If we have 75 football players out and need more coaches, its my job as principal to get the additional $$ to get the coaches...to have a C team schedule.  Even if those kids get 2-3 games, they're involved, identify with the school more, as do their parents.
Likewise if we have 60 band students..and more support is needed I got it.
Contrary to what a lot of coaches, players the public at large of the purpose of a high school is to provide a wide range of activities for all students, not be a training ground for a select few, very few, who are going on to participate in college sports.

I like that approach, Mac. It lets them know that they aren't performing at the highest level but it still gives them a chance to participate in something they enjoy, all the while getting better at the skill.


Back to top Go down
Titletown Tyrants
 
 
avatar

Posts : 11326

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Fri Nov 03, 2017 3:52 pm

Maplewood Doppelgangers wrote:
MobTown Ravens wrote:
During my days as a school principal I've always been a firm believer and supporter of getting as many students involved in as many activities as possible...so have never been a advocate of cuts.
If we have 75 football players out and need more coaches, its my job as principal to get the additional $$ to get the coaches...to have a C team schedule.  Even if those kids get 2-3 games, they're involved, identify with the school more, as do their parents.
Likewise if we have 60 band students..and more support is needed I got it.
Contrary to what a lot of coaches, players the public at large of the purpose of a high school is to provide a wide range of activities for all students, not be a training ground for a select few, very few, who are going on to participate in college sports.

I like that approach, Mac.  It lets them know that they aren't performing at the highest level but it still gives them a chance to participate in something they enjoy, all the while getting better at the skill.

And staying away from trouble.


Back to top Go down
Kalamazoo Nukes
 
 
avatar

Posts : 309

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Fri Nov 03, 2017 8:24 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
MobTown Ravens wrote:
Good article.....major aspects of our culture that brought about significant changes to how children are being raised....early 90s when due to the economy mother's had to start working again, loss of sense of community, less trust amongst people and in schools, government.
As a school principal I found that 25 years ago a "safety net" was put in place my parents....children shouldn't be allowed to fail, everyone must succeed and "I don't want my kid" to be too different"

I had an interesting thing happen this summer. My daughter is 7, but she plays for a club that is competitive, soccer team. Apparently they aren't supposed to keep score until 10 for some wacked reason. She had a tournament, where they played U10, and got beaten in 2 of the 3 games. Everyone got a medal after the tournament. She was proud of the medal. On the way home, she said, "I am so happy we won our first tournament".... I felt bad but I could not bite my tongue. I told her that she did not win the tournament, and that everyone got a medal, and that she should be proud of the way she played, but they did not win the tournament. 

I was torn. I want her to feel good about herself, but I want her to be real. I don't want her to think she won just because she participated either. I often find myself in a struggle on what to say in so many situations, because I want to raise her to have confidence, but be strong and I hope I can do that without being a jerk.

I agree with being real. my wife and I have agreed that when our kids are old enough we are not keeping participation trophies. we will let our kids fail and know when they failed. Then we will have a discussion on what went good and what went bad. I believe a kid will never be their best unless they have failed multiple times.


Back to top Go down
Titletown Tyrants
 
 
avatar

Posts : 11326

PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:39 am

Yep. As a 6 year old she thought she was the best player on her team, she was not, and I told her that. Told her she has to work hard and practice and she did. Now we just go over things she did well and things she needs to work on.


Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: The Fragile Generation   

Back to top Go down
 
The Fragile Generation
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Roster Wars :: The Roster Wars Clubhouse :: Free For All-
Jump to: