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 Andromeda Afterglow Press Room

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Andromeda Afterglow
 
 
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PostSubject: Andromeda Afterglow Press Room   Mon Aug 07, 2017 1:41 pm

Welcome all to the long overdue announcement of the newest football team to hit the Promising Prospects conference of the Roster Wars Minor League! Ladies and gentleman of Andromeda, I give you the AFTERGLOW!

[The team's official fight song, "Above the Clouds" by Gang Starr comes on]



Construction of our new stadium, dubbed the Zero-G Stadium, is almost finished in the Heart of downtown Auriga City on planet KELT-2ab. This central location will make it easier for lifeforms all across our Galaxy to watch the Afterglow face some of the fiercest teams from the Milky Way Galaxy, including the team's Chapter 9 division rivals: the Valhalla Viktors, St. Louis Duffers, and Southside Spartans. Although the league was initially resistant to a team in a totally new galaxy, they ultimately determined it was still better than putting a team in London and agreed to let the Afterglow in the league for the reasonable request of intergalactic travel. And without further ado, here is a live feed of the stadium's progress.



Now, the Andromeda staff will be introduced. First off, I would like to welcome our wonderful and wise coach who simply goes by, YODA! What he lacks in grammatical accuracy, he easily makes up for with his in-depth knowledge of the force, which we anticipate will be very useful in jump-ball scenarios. Please come up to the stage and say a few words for your fans, Yoda.



We love the no days off attitude, thank you Yoda. And now, one of the most vicious beings in the universe, who will teach our players to have that all-important killer instinct, I give you our new offensive coordinator, PREDATOR!



He's still a bit upset RW rules prohibit physically consuming the opponent, but we believe his skills will translate well as we have heard he is adept at adapting to new environments. And next, our veteran of space, a man the Earthlings constantly forget in Space and has to be rescued, MATT DAMON!



These wonderful leaders will collaborate to assemble the finest talent possible, with the ultimate goal of dominating the Promising Prospects conference for years to come. And to facilitate the constant travel, the team's headquarters will be on the legendary Millennium Falcon.



Yes, Chewy, I'm as excited as you are!

We have also recruited the chick with three tits from the popular Earth movie "Total Recall" as our lead cheerleader, who will assemble some of the hottest ass from across the galaxy for camera cuts right before commercial breaks (the Earthlings made this a mandatory condition of joining the league for some reason).

Lastly, the team has just formalized their new logo, and will be unveiling a full color scheme, uniforms, and further details in the coming month before the season officially kicks off. Please bookmark this page and stay tuned for direct updates from the team throughout the season, including news as well as discounts on tickets and merchandise!

Thank you all & GO AFTERGLOW!




Last edited by Andromeda Afterglow on Mon Aug 07, 2017 3:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Carolina Silverbacks
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Andromeda Afterglow Press Room   Mon Aug 07, 2017 2:50 pm

Good stuff Mitch!


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Denver Demons
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Andromeda Afterglow Press Room   Mon Aug 07, 2017 7:15 pm

This is easily my favorite intro so far ROTFLMAO lol 2


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PostSubject: Re: Andromeda Afterglow Press Room   Tue Aug 08, 2017 9:18 am

Breaking news: results from the team's initial draft has finally reached Andromeda!

The team would like to formally welcome several fine specimens, starting a guy the Afterglow were said to target no matter the price - David Johnson, RB!



Holy crap, he's an even bigger beast than Predator in his prime. Staying with their baller approach to spending as much money as possible in the first 48 hours of the draft, the Afterglow just made another huge splash. The team was able to reach terms with a guy who is faster than most in the league despite the wind resistance from the sponge he keeps on his head. I give you - Odell Beckham Jr, WR!



The next pick is in, and it is yet another elite WR. The Afterglow are really looking for star power, which I guess makes sense when you think about it...  A man who is a picture of consistency on the field, but changes his hairstyle every interview I see him in, the Afterglow have selected - Antonio Brown, WR!



That guy has moves - should be plenty of fun endzone dances for you lovely fans. Continuing their theme of elite WRs, the Afterglow spent a pretty chunk of change for an afterburner who has never seen a single Got Milk commercial - Sammy Watkins, WR!



Next pick is in, and it is a fresh fish in the league - OJ Howard, TE!



More of a shark than a fish with that build, he should anchor the TE spot for many years. And to complement Watkins, the Afterglow got their targeted QB1 - Tyrod Taylor, QB!



What's this!? The Afterglow actually selected some defense in the form of two young pass rushers who will terrorize opponents and probably freeze them with fear - Jadeveon Clowney, LB & Jonathan Allen, DE




and lastly, the Afterglow got some other dudes...


Welcome one and all your 2017 Afterglow Roster!!



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PostSubject: Re: Andromeda Afterglow Press Room   Tue Aug 08, 2017 3:13 pm

In an effort to gain some veteran leadership, but mainly in an effort to provide Sammy Watkins insurance, the Afterglow have come to terms with Anquan Boldin, WR! We were able to snap a picture of him travelling to the stadium yesterday to sign the deal:



After the press conference immediately following yesterday's signing, we caught up with the Afterglow owner, who said;
Quote :
"look, we're not saying we think Sammy is injury prone, it's just that we know he's not going to be available at some point next season. Plus, Anquan is about as old as the game of football itself, so we assume he knows the game pretty well by now and can teach the younger guys about the nuances of being a true professional, such as how to get in bar fights without being caught by those assholes in the media."

You can just feel the excitement from the organization in that quote! In more unfortunate news, the Afterglow were forced to place Crockett Gilmore, TE and Nick Fairley, DT on the IR, ending their season before it even began. They will immediately return to the TB12 Sports Therapy Center where Alex Guerrero will perform his usual black magic to try to get them back to speed for the coming year.


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PostSubject: Re: Andromeda Afterglow Press Room   Wed Aug 09, 2017 2:12 pm

More breaking news, after days of negotiation, the Afterglow have reached a deal with the Polk High Panthers!

The Afterflow will receive:
Keenan Allen, WR, LAC
2018 5th from Panthers

The Panthers will receive:
2018 1st from Afterglow
Jeremy Maclin, WR, BAL
Josh Gordon, WR, CLE

The Afterglow owner released the following statement: "We really value the potential of the 2018 draft, but we feel that Keenan has been an overlooked talent in this league for too long. So, we sacked up and got our man, even though we also lost an extremely talented player in Maclin, and a washed-up stoner in Josh Gordon."

Please give a warm Afterglow welcome to the best 4th WR this league has ever seen!



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PostSubject: Re: Andromeda Afterglow Press Room   Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:54 pm

The Afterglow has been very busy the past week, especially the front office, who reportedly has reached new contracts with the entire team. Terms of the contracts can be found on the team's website. In other front office news, the team caught up with their new special teams coach, Darth Helmet, who was spotted at camp the other day getting familiar with the team:



The coaches' focus during training camp the past week was primarily on having the players adjust to the slightly lower gravity. OBJ was pictured taking advantage of the new atmosphere:



Many players have been pushing each other to be better at camp, especially the team's best strength - it's WR core. In fact, a report came out yesterday saying that AB has bet OBJ a custom yacht that he will have more receiving yards this season. Guess he got a little cocky after fleecing Brandon Marshall in a similar bet last year, but a little friendly competition could be good for bringing the team together.

Lastly, the team reached terms with rookie Mack Hollins, WR, who was a 4th round pick out of UNC. Coaches have noted his strong work ethic and said he has really flashed in camp so far.



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PostSubject: Re: Andromeda Afterglow Press Room   Mon Aug 21, 2017 10:03 am

Some unfortunate news for the Afterglow as Boldin has decided just days after signing with the team. He has had such a storied career, so it was such a shame to see him bitch out so soon after signing the one year pact *cough* pussy *cough*

However, the Afterglow have signed two targets who seemed to have been performing significantly better in camp than expected. Please welcome Chris Carson, rookie RB, and Jaron Brown, WR!

Both received one-year deals, and the team hopes they will continue to trend upwards in the coming weeks before the season kicks off. Also, with the signings, the team has reached the contract cap limit, so if the Afterglow sign anyone else, someone's ass is getting the boot.


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PostSubject: Re: Andromeda Afterglow Press Room   Tue Oct 17, 2017 8:16 pm

In a heartless, Belichickian maneuver, the Afterglow have dealt the newly acquired Lesean McCoy as well as Chris Hogan, $5 and Latavius Murray to the busy Panthers organization as they look to the playoffs and the Afterglow look to the future.

"We just felt the young guy gives us a lot moving forward, but we appreciate Hogan's phenomenal start to the year and Shady for stopping bye."

Shady was quoted as saying, "motherfuckers, I just traveled a whole lightyear to get here!"


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PostSubject: Re: Andromeda Afterglow Press Room   Wed Nov 08, 2017 3:22 pm

As the Afterglow continue to look towards the future, they have accepted a Blockbuster trade with the KC Kings to trade for Andrew Luck, QB in exchange for Jimmy Garoppolo, QB and Mack Hollins, WR. Andrew Luck has also been deactivated to IR.

"We are very fortunate to acquire such a great talent at a time when his price is the lowest it has been in several years. Despite the risk from his recent injury, we believe he will continue to have a productive career and are quite excited to see what he can do in this league."

Tough news for Jimmy G, who just keeps getting traded...


Roster Move: Trade
Contract: -3 years
Warbucks: +0

Afterglow Updated Totals:

Players: 60 on active roster, 7 on IR
Contracts: 125 years (less 10 IR)
Warbucks: $204


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