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 Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)

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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:20 pm



You only roast the ones you love. Ahhh, what a saying. What a tradition. And it is the offseason, so what the hell? Let's roast eachother. One by one, we will go through rosters, franchise moves, the draft, and any personal thing you can find funny about the owner in an attempt to show your respect for them. Please take everything with a grain of salt, no hard feelings, and if someone tears you apart, go after them in their roast. Without further ado, I open up the roast of Derrick, of the Littleton Silverballers!




A batter that bats an average of .333 in baseball is considered successful. Very successful actually. Unfortunately for Derrick, this is not baseball, and a .333 record is awful.

Derrick has a good little roster going for him. Little is the key word. He has 40 total players on his roster. Is anyone else hoping for injuries and bye weeks to take over so that he looks like an idiot after trying to look like a genius?

Derrick has 3 RB's on his entire roster. A RB not named Zeke, Jacksonville's backup, and Matt Jones. Good job buddy, good thing you don't need ANY points out of that position.

It has been said that poor Greg looks like an inmate. Take one look at Derrick.


Doesn't he look mad? Are you scared? I am. In one view he looks like an angry KKK member in prison, but in truth he is a big sissy taking a selfie in his car probably jamming to tunes like "MMMBOP" and Brittany Spears. Not cool Derrick.

Possibly the worst defense assembled in RW, Derrick has 1 player at these postions: DT, DE, CB. I wish I played him on bye weeks of those players. He will have to pick up waiver wire players those weeks. The sad thing is that the waiver wire players are probably upgrades over the players on his actual roster.

Derrick, love going back and forth with you about the Packers, learning from you in RW, and being in the best conference here. Finish him off people, don't be gentle!
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Maple Grove Mean Machine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:27 pm

Ummmmmmm.....I don't know where to begin. There is so much to work with here. Obviously, the selfie he took in the police car on the way to jail. I thought when you get a free ride in a police car, they take everything from you so you can't drop any evidence in the seats. Oh, and if he is cuffed, he has great dexterity in his feet.......that's about the only good thing I can say about that!


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Morrison Minions
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:17 pm

Maple Grove Mean Machine wrote:
Ummmmmmm.....I don't know where to begin. There is so much to work with here. Obviously, the selfie he took in the police car on the way to jail. I thought when you get a free ride in a police car, they take everything from you so you can't drop any evidence in the seats. Oh, and if he is cuffed, he has great dexterity in his feet.......that's about the only good thing I can say about that!

His daddy is the popo. I bet daddy let him keep his stuff. He's probably cuffed. Those fluffy pink ones.


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Littleton SilverBallers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:50 pm

It's not the size of the roster that counts, as long as it gets the job done. You all will be screaming SilverBallers sexually, once the season is over! Some may even say, the SilverBallers are my daddy and his small roster fucked me just right!! make fun


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Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 3:06 pm

Littleton SilverBallers wrote:
It's not the size of the roster that counts, as long as it gets the job done.  You all will be screaming SilverBallers sexually, once the season is over!  Some may even say, the SilverBallers are my daddy and his small roster fucked me just right!! make fun

You're probably right.




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Maple Grove Mean Machine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 3:25 pm

Balls aren't any good without a dick. Hey where's Nick?


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 3:43 pm

Maple Grove Mean Machine wrote:
Balls aren't any good without a dick. Hey where's Nick?

Good one.


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Maple Grove Mean Machine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 4:19 pm

Best I could come up with.


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Philadelphia Pigskins
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 6:38 pm

Spoiler alert for the upcoming LB rankings.



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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 9:58 pm

Keeping the team small makes sense if you have a lot of studs you want to lock down for multiple years but that's definitely not what's going on here. lol3



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England Dragons
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 13- Littleton Silverballers (Derrick)   Tue Jul 26, 2016 12:53 am

I like Derrick. But this is his trade bait comment:

6/21

Looking to get an upgrade at WR or LB

Willing to package players and picks for a stud at either WR or LB


So he has 40 players and wants to bundle some together to trade up. Then he'd have less than 40 players...?

stars


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