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 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)

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Nevada NightHawks
 
 
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PostSubject: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:25 am

In Roster Wars ever increasing role in Fantasy Football, the league’s echelon have been in search of hiring a consulting firm that could assist in predicting team records for the upcoming 2016 season.  Because of that search, 2016 Roster Wars Predictions are born.  Just this year, a new company was launched to predict the outcome of the 2016 Roster Wars season using a complex statistical analogy and formula that is considered foolproof.  The company, named SMAK (Super Mario’s Analytical Konclusions) was recently granted their sooth-saying, Taro-Card reading, Crystal Ball gazing, United States, patent pending license. Stephen Hawking was originally sought out to create the predicting formula but he was in way over his head.  Therefore, Bern of the Nevada NightHawks was brought in to oversee the evolution of SMAK.  Having an impressive background of baseball statistical analysis since 2002, he was a sure-fire candidate from the day he stepped thru the SMAK doors.  Right after I posted my first baseball stat on the Roster Wars forums, I have since received several more emails that basically said, “Hey Bern, you got anymore baseball stats?”  “That is some fascinating stuff right there.”  Since that day, Roster Wars has been in search of an unbiased firm that had no previous ties to the league and would have no preconceived notions or influences from the league.  Since most of the league members were truly excited with all the baseball stats the NightHawks brought, and then they brought in football stats from north of the border, the obvious choice to run the SMAK program was granted to the NightHawks GM.   




So, what is SMAK’s objective?  It has only one.  To predict the 2016 Roster Wars record for all 24 of the league’s teams.  Basically to create a system so accurate, that actually playing the 2016 Roster Wars season is a moot point.  Now I know some of you will be saying that SMAK is nothing more than Voodoo Economics, and others will want to actually see the formula and how it works.  I can give you a rundown of SMAK’s formula but if the likes of Stephen Hawking & Sheldon Cooper can’t solve the complex formula, how are you knuckleheads going to be able to understand its complexity?  To give you a slight rundown, all team rosters, player’s ages,  and their 2015 stats were placed in a spreadsheet.  From there, the top roster players points were weighed, their ages considered, and through precise percentage calculations, their 2016 future stats were created.  All player’s stats were added up and a team total was created and then divided by the number of players.  That total was divided by PI.  PI?  Yep, PI.  Why PI?  Because ice-cream melts, so back the fuck off!  Plus, I was hoping to complicate things enough to even throw Chris off our trail.  With that PI total, each team was given a total coefficient ranking from 1 to 12 for each conference.  With 12 teams playing 6 games a week in a 12 week regular season, there were 72 wins that needed to be distributed.  Based on a percentage coefficient for each team they were assigned victories and that is how the predictions were created.  Sure, there might be some SMAK Talk (see what I did there?)about how everything came out, but there is no arguing with the fool-proof formula that was used in determining the Roster Wars wins & losses.   




So what is SMAK’s current status.  Well, I have entered all stats for the Dastardly Dozen & Terrible Twelve conferences.  The SMAK Super Computer has already spit out all the predicted numbers, and all 24 teams have been ranked in their conferences.  This has been a work in progress the last few weeks.  Next up is articles being written for each team breaking down their SMAK numbers and their predicted records.  There are also interviews with all 24 owners.  Now, settle down.  I know what all of you are saying, “I’m not going to waste my time talking to this Super Mario look-alike to participate in one of his reindeer games.”  Well, rest assured.  All 24 of you have already spoken.  You may not think you’ve talked to me directly, but you have made your remarks known.  The 1 on 1 interviews with SMAK have already been recorded and will be laid out for each team.  So, this is how the rest of the summer will break down.  There are 6 Chapters in the two Conferences and using the time-tested system of alphabetical & numerical order, I will start the first article with the Dastardly Dozen Conference, Chapter One (Spoiler Alert:  This is going to be the toughest Chapter in the Dastardly Dozen for the 2016 season).  Article #2 will be the team predicted records for Chapter Two.  Do I need to continue the order, or can you mathematicians figure out the pattern?  Good!   So each article will predict the records for the 4 teams in that Chapter and a brief writeup for why they are going to have the 2016 record that is being predicted for that team.  Now I’m sure there will be some debate with the SMAK Predictions, but when a Super Computer spits out a conclusion, all the noise afterwards will just be owners crying, or talking SMAK.  So stay tuned for Super Marios Analytical Konclusions!  Coming soon to a Press Room near you.




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Philadelphia Pigskins
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:28 am

Awesome. Really looking forward to this.


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 5:16 am

Oh hell yeah! This outta be good. eating popcorn


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 6:43 am

You tease, post the damn article!!!! laughing

Really looking forward to this Bern. Can't wait! cheers


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Atlanta Africans
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:14 am

Awesome stuff here.

PS Can we have more paragraph breaks cheers


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Morrison Minions
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:23 am

Yeah, fuck off ice cream! But I like ice cream unsure


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Bergen Brawlers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:27 am

I can't wait to get to the SMAK talk.  I'll save Bern the time and crown myself the champ over at the TT.

This kind of reminds me of the Kubiak rankings.  I think that it might have been at Football Outsiders.  Basically, from what I understand, they input the players measurables and performance into a computer, found the closest matches, and predicted future performance off of that.  I used the predictions as a secondary source for a few years.  They were better than the group think and actually identified a few sleepers.

But I can't wait to see this in action.  And then to come back in 5 months and see how accurate it was.


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Maple Grove Mean Machine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:30 am

This will be a blood bath!


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Bergen Brawlers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:35 am

Atlanta Africans wrote:
Awesome stuff here.

PS Can we have more paragraph breaks cheers


It looks like it was originally typed in word and pasted in here.  The bb code messes up that language.  At one point I lucked into getting an editor screen that allowed a direct paste from Word but I doubt I could recreate it.


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Shaferville Stars
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:43 am

Fantastic. Can't wait to see it.


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Nevada NightHawks
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 10:08 am

Bergen Brawlers wrote:
Atlanta Africans wrote:
Awesome stuff here.

PS Can we have more paragraph breaks cheers


It looks like it was originally typed in word and pasted in here.  The bb code messes up that language.  At one point I lucked into getting an editor screen that allowed a direct paste from Word but I doubt I could recreate it.


Why yes, the article was typed and printed off the SMAK Super Computer.  The last thing I wanted to do was type it all in here, hit send, and then get the nasty gram, "The posted message was too long.".  Besides, a paragraph break is to give the reader a chance to slow down and digest what was just written before continuing on to the next part of the story.  I made the paragraph break slightly larger for some of you slower readers to process what they have read and possibly get a drink of water beer before committing to the next paragraph. laughing

Dastardly Dozen, Chapter One is completed.  Just figuring out the best way to post the Standings, Article, & interviews to make it most pleasing to the eyes. And possibly back space out some of the paragraph breaks.  ROFL But damn, now all this hype has me nervous.  I am by no way a Sports Illustrated writer or author of any sorts.  Time to head off to the SMAK computer and put in bigger, fancier words into the article.


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Bergen Brawlers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 10:14 am

At the far right of the toolbar is a piece of paper.  If you click on it, it changes the editor mode.  Between what?  Not really sure.  But I think that's what I clicked once before and I was able to cut and paste tables, etc. into one of these posts.


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Naperville Divine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 12:39 pm

looks awesome. Will you accept bribes?


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Muskego Muskies
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 12:53 pm

Looking forward to it


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England Dragons
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:51 pm

Ooooh, exciting. The results of your chapter 1 article will make it very clear to all if SMAK has what it takes. We all know who's winning chapter 1...

mischevious


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:52 pm

England Dragons wrote:
Ooooh, exciting. The results of your chapter 1 article will make it very clear to all if SMAK has what it takes. We all know who's winning chapter 1...

mischevious

Sty?


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Bergen Brawlers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:53 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
England Dragons wrote:
Ooooh, exciting. The results of your chapter 1 article will make it very clear to all if SMAK has what it takes. We all know who's winning chapter 1...

mischevious

Sty?


Now that's funny.


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:54 pm

Bergen Brawlers wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
England Dragons wrote:
Ooooh, exciting. The results of your chapter 1 article will make it very clear to all if SMAK has what it takes. We all know who's winning chapter 1...

mischevious

Sty?


Now that's funny.

It was either Sty, or another your'e mom joke, and I went with Sty.  laughing


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Nevada NightHawks
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 1:59 pm

Bergen Brawlers wrote:
At the far right of the toolbar is a piece of paper.  If you click on it, it changes the editor mode.  Between what?  Not really sure.  But I think that's what I clicked once before and I was able to cut and paste tables, etc. into one of these posts.

Ah yes, I know exactly what your talking about. I had to do that to display my CFL Stats. grin Thanks.


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:00 pm

I just saw this post and was hoping your article was out. HURRY UP!!!!!!!  tongue


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Bergen Brawlers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:01 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Bergen Brawlers wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
England Dragons wrote:
Ooooh, exciting. The results of your chapter 1 article will make it very clear to all if SMAK has what it takes. We all know who's winning chapter 1...

mischevious

Sty?


Now that's funny.

It was either Sty, or another your'e mom joke, and I went with Sty.  laughing


I normally don't do this but I've seen it twice today -- you do know that "your'e" is not a word, don't you?


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:03 pm

Bergen Brawlers wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Bergen Brawlers wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
England Dragons wrote:
Ooooh, exciting. The results of your chapter 1 article will make it very clear to all if SMAK has what it takes. We all know who's winning chapter 1...

mischevious

Sty?


Now that's funny.

It was either Sty, or another your'e mom joke, and I went with Sty.  laughing


I normally don't do this but I've seen it twice today -- you do know that "your'e" is not a word, don't you?

Sorry, phone did auto correct. YOUR.


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England Dragons
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:12 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Bergen Brawlers wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Bergen Brawlers wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
England Dragons wrote:
Ooooh, exciting. The results of your chapter 1 article will make it very clear to all if SMAK has what it takes. We all know who's winning chapter 1...

mischevious

Sty?


Now that's funny.

It was either Sty, or another your'e mom joke, and I went with Sty.  laughing


I normally don't do this but I've seen it twice today -- you do know that "your'e" is not a word, don't you?

Sorry, phone did auto correct. YOUR.

Yeah, right, blame the phone...

laughing


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:14 pm

The phone typed Sty too. I meant to say Tyrants, but I didn't want to hear the responses.  laughing


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Morrison Minions
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:19 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
The phone typed Sty too. I meant to say Tyrants, but I didn't want to hear the responses.  laughing

You're phone autocorrected you saying your team will win the division? rofl


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:20 pm

Morrison Minions wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
The phone typed Sty too. I meant to say Tyrants, but I didn't want to hear the responses.  laughing

You're phone autocorrected you saying your team will win the division? rofl

Even my phone knows that no one can dethrone Jon.


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Morrison Minions
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:23 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Morrison Minions wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
The phone typed Sty too. I meant to say Tyrants, but I didn't want to hear the responses.  laughing

You're phone autocorrected you saying your team will win the division? rofl

Even my phone knows that no one can dethrone Jon.

This is the worst team Jon has had in 5 years.


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England Dragons
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:31 pm

Morrison Minions wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Morrison Minions wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
The phone typed Sty too. I meant to say Tyrants, but I didn't want to hear the responses.  laughing

You're phone autocorrected you saying your team will win the division? rofl

Even my phone knows that no one can dethrone Jon.

This is the worst team Jon has had in 5 years.

Boring. And wrong.

The team I had in year 1 - the one that knocked you out in the play-offs after you called me out - was shocking...

wink


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Morrison Minions
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:40 pm

England Dragons wrote:
Morrison Minions wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Morrison Minions wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
The phone typed Sty too. I meant to say Tyrants, but I didn't want to hear the responses.  laughing

You're phone autocorrected you saying your team will win the division? rofl

Even my phone knows that no one can dethrone Jon.

This is the worst team Jon has had in 5 years.

Boring. And wrong.

The team I had in year 1 - the one that knocked you out in the play-offs after you called me out - was shocking...

wink

Top of the mornin to ya Jon. I hope your tea is warm. kick nuts


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Littleton SilverBallers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 3:35 pm

I hate being teased! I want to see the article too


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England Dragons
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 3:42 pm

Morrison Minions wrote:
England Dragons wrote:
Morrison Minions wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Morrison Minions wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
The phone typed Sty too. I meant to say Tyrants, but I didn't want to hear the responses.  laughing

You're phone autocorrected you saying your team will win the division? rofl

Even my phone knows that no one can dethrone Jon.

This is the worst team Jon has had in 5 years.

Boring. And wrong.

The team I had in year 1 - the one that knocked you out in the play-offs after you called me out - was shocking...

wink

Top of the mornin to ya Jon. I hope your tea is warm. kick nuts

Top of the mornin' is an Irish saying. But my tea is hot. Always hot...

laughing


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Indiana Mayhem
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 5:59 pm

Let's see what you got Bern


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Norfolk Bombers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 6:08 pm

This is almost as bad as when Andy used to say "major changes coming soon!"


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 8:45 pm

Norfolk Bombers wrote:
This is almost as bad as when Andy used to say "major changes coming soon!"

I have curbed that big time...now I say nothing. tongue


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San Francisco Golddiggers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 9:21 pm

I have no faith in SMAK. The answers came back too quickly for such a complex problem.


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Wisconsin Warlords
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: 2016 Roster Wars Team Predictions (Coming Soon!)   Mon Jul 25, 2016 9:26 pm

This is awesome. When are they coming out!?


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