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 Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)

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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 1:29 pm



You only roast the ones you love. Ahhh, what a saying. What a tradition. And it is the offseason, so what the hell? Let's roast eachother. One by one, we will go through rosters, franchise moves, the draft, and any personal thing you can find funny about the owner in an attempt to show your respect for them. Please take everything with a grain of salt, no hard feelings, and if someone tears you apart, go after them in their roast. Without further ado, I open up the roast of Greg, of the California Nightmare!




Okay, Okay, let's get this aside. Greg has a kick ass logo. We all know that. But today isn't about a logo that he had nothing to do with. It is about telling Greg that he sucks, so let's hop to!

Greg has two QB's, Bortles and Alex Smith. No, Sam Bradford does not count Greg. So basically you have 1 QB, because Alex Smith shouldn't count either. Better hope that Bortles doesn't go down. EEsh.

Your RB's are LMurray, Prosise, Sims, DWashington, CWest, and Karlos Williams. Holy balls, I feel bad making fun of some of the other guys for their RB crews. I honestly don't know if you can play any one of those guys on a consistent basis an get more than 7 points.

WR is better. You have Julio, Landry, and a bunch of guys who couldn't get a horny naked Jenna Jameison wet.

Greg likes Precious Moments. Should I applaud him for being open about it, or say what it really means? Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Greg, you look like you just got out of prison. If you and Derrick were seen together wearing the color orange, I would run.

That is a start, Greg you are awesome. You have a .666 winning percentage in RW, which is badass. You are a good sport, and a valuable member here. Knock him around guys!




Last edited by Titletown Tyrants on Thu Jul 21, 2016 4:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Maple Grove Mean Machine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 1:36 pm

Greg, remember this?

California Nightmare

The Owner of the Nightmare was very “wanty” on his choice at the 2.10 of C.J. Prosise. “He was a want over a need, you know. It’s like scratch offs, when you match 3 prizes and it happens to be worth $1,000. That has never happened to me but I imagine that it would be the same feeling…that holy shit are you fucking kidding me right now feeling.” I asked the guy if there was another player that would fill a “need” he was keeping his eye on, “Tyler Boyd.” When pressed about Boyd, “That’s all you need to know.” Then he just walked away. Douchebag!

The MEAN MACHINE’s Take: Needs and wants, needs and wants, that’s like the Easter rhyme of “silver and gold, silver and gold.” Well, son, with that pick you won’t be seeing any “Silver and Gold” for a long, stupid ass time.

DRAFT GRADE: POINTING THE FUCKING GUN TO MY HEA(D)

It is still true as the day it was written! Good luck....... end it


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 3:22 pm

Looking over this roster caused me to yawn and then yawn again. I fell asleep. But then I was looking at this group of super below average pile of players and thinking "fuck, Greg actually made a point of grabbing all these assholes" which was crazy. Then I thought, "phew, this could be my team"..."this could be my team" ..."could be my team"..."be my team"..."my team"..."this is my team?" ..."this is my fuckin' team?!?!?" .....Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
reaction reaction reaction reaction reaction reaction



Holy shit! This team is a fuckin Nightmare. But thank fuck it isn't mine for real. sweating


Good luck with that Greg. Team is real scary...hope that was the point...



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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 3:26 pm



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Atlanta Africans
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 3:47 pm

Nick is such an awesome roast master. If only he could count higher than 11...


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 3:54 pm

Greg, your dad called. Said he wants you to bring the mask (your face) back. Apparently the Black Hole is a little light on CRAZY these days...



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Bergen Brawlers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 4:11 pm

Greg has a really interesting approach to setting up his roster -- go Oakland and go often.  Almost 1 in every 7 players of his are on the Oakland Raiders.  While there may be some better teams for this strategy, the Raiders do offer some great choices.

You have Amari Cooper -- oh wait, Greg doesn't have him.  Ok, maybe he at least got Crabtree.  Ummmmm, that would be a no.

Ok, but WRs aren't everything (just ask Sty).  Carr is a young stud QB and this is a super flex league.  I'm sure he has Carr.  Oh, he doesn't?  Ok.

How about LB then?  Oakland has some great LBs, Kahlil Mack and Malcolm Smith in particular.  But, wait, Greg doesn't have either of those guys.

But Reggie Nelson's a serviceable safety.  Maybe Greg has him?  WRONG!  

Clive Walford or Sebastian Janikowski?  Nope and nope.

To be honest, that's about the extent of most fantasy player's knowledge of the Raiders, even the diehards that frequent this site.  But somehow, Greg has found 7 or 8 other Raiders players to put on his squad.  Maybe that explains the Precious Moments fascination -- he needs another hobby because he's not winning with this one.

But, on a positive note, most of those guys haven't been assigned contracts so Greg can still fix this.  But he's a Raider fan, so he won't.  Good luck avoiding this next year:



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Naperville Divine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 5:39 pm

Initially when I saw Greg's photo, I thought he was trying to look intimidating. Upon further review, I think Greg must have other things on his mind:

"My head coach's shirt says blink if you want me. If I stare at him all day, maybe he will think I am playing hard to get".
"Hey Bosworth. I will be your huckleberry".
"Damn my team really sucks".
"If I stick this lump of coal up my ass and squeeze hard enough, maybe I can create a few WBs."
"Wow, tickets to enter the Black Hole on Sunday are $250 bucks. Usually it only costs me $20 and some heavy petting to enter a Black Hole."

Greg is the untimate value player. If you look at his roster, you wander how the heck he managed so many wins. His posts on the message board are very entertaining. He is a fantastic owner in TT. I am glad to have him as a participant in this league.


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Bergen Brawlers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 5:56 pm

Naperville Divine wrote:
"Wow, tickets to enter the Black Hole on Sunday are $250 bucks.  Usually it only costs me $20 and some heavy petting to enter a Black Hole."


rofl rofl rofl


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 6:50 pm

Bergen Brawlers wrote:
But he's a Raider fan, so he won't.

laughing


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Indiana Mayhem
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 7:56 pm

Greg scares me I am saying nothing about his team.


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 8:07 pm

Indiana Mayhem wrote:
Greg scares me I am saying nothing about his team.

Translation: Greg, your team sucks rhinoceros balls and it's not lady-like to point out your shortcomings when you haven't a chance to defend yourself.


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California Nightmare
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Thu Jul 21, 2016 8:56 pm

laughing lol 2 rofl ROFL ROTFLMAO Laughing

You assholes actually impressed the shit out of me with this one...literally.

cheers


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Indiana Mayhem
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Fri Jul 22, 2016 6:48 am

It was my post, right?

nailbiting nailbiting nailbiting nailbiting nailbiting nailbiting


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Tarpon Springs RedKnights
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 12- California Nightmare (Greg)   Fri Jul 22, 2016 8:10 pm

Greg. Hi. Your team is not very good.


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