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 Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)

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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:27 pm



You only roast the ones you love. Ahhh, what a saying. What a tradition. And it is the offseason, so what the hell? Let's roast eachother. One by one, we will go through rosters, franchise moves, the draft, and any personal thing you can find funny about the owner in an attempt to show your respect for them. Please take everything with a grain of salt, no hard feelings, and if someone tears you apart, go after them in their roast. Without further ado, I open up the roast of Craig, of the Naperville Divine!





Craig- It's not that you have been terrible in Roster Wars, it is that you have been Ungodly terrible in Roster Wars. You have a pair of 4-8 seasons under your belt, and it looks like you haven't done anything to help your cause. 


Craig, you do realize that WB's are there to help you make your team better right? Looks like you hoarded them instead of attempting to make that disaster of a roster looked better. Hope that works out for you.


I just roasted Andy, and made fun of his Tight Ends.... Wow do I feel like an idiot for making fun of his. Jesus man, you will be lucky to get 7 points a week out of that position! Good think Rudolph is the "Best TE in the League". HAHA! He's as stupid as you are for rostering him.


You do have the receiver position going for you. Justin Hunter, DGB, and Jalen Strong should help you...   Rolling Eyes


I see you won both Survivor and Pick Em last year. It is good you can show that you can win at something because you sure as hell struggle to win actual matchups in RW.


$10 in winnings in 2 years. Man you must be proud of that. You should be as proud of that as Justin Bieber's mom is of him.


The fish you are holding in your profile picture has a pinkish color to it. Foreshadowing? Yeah, probably.


Thanks for being a good sport Craig, may you have a better season in 2016 than you have in the past. Rip up TT!


It's your turn RW! PILE ON!


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Maple Grove Mean Machine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:34 pm

EXCERPT TAKEN FROM "TERRIBLE TWELVE LOOKING TO ADD MORE HARDWARE......"

Naperville Divine

When called for comment on the missing first and second round picks, Satan answered and said, “he sold his soul to me, now this team is mine,” I said, “Thank you, Satan! For you have delivered him TO sin. Could you talk to him and let him know, great job on no first and second round picks this year, please?” To which Satan replied, “who were we talking about again?” Then he hung up. I tell you what, I realized that Satan knows what he is doing, don’t fuck with that guy. I wish The Freaky Fuckinshitshow Conference would have more owners like this.

The MEAN MACHINE’s Take: With Satan running the team now, anything is possible! Sky’s the limit. Watch your backs, the Divine is coming.

DRAFT GRADE: (F)INALLY PULLED THE TRIGGER….I mean….PULLING THE GUN OUT OF THE C(A)SE. Whew, that was close.

NUFF SAID! metal


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Mrs. Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:35 pm

Naperville Divine...you mean Notgoodby Design...


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Tarpon Springs RedKnights
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:58 pm

Mrs. Eternals wrote:
Naperville Divine...you mean Notgoodby Design...
wtf that's awesome! Lmao


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Mrs. Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 4:05 pm

Featuring the Notgoodby Design

Owner: Craig I'mgoodatsidegamesbutsuck@runningmyteam
Offense: Farrah Fuckit
Head Coach: Most Ridiculous Coach in RosterWars
Defense: Chuck Nowins

The Notgoodby Design will be able to keep it's namesake this year thanks to some "great" defensive players such as Vonn Bell who has recently changed his name to, Vonn noI'mnotLe'Veon Bell, Mychal Kendricks was purchased back in 2012 as Coach Nowins thought his name was Mychal Cansuckdicks, boy was he disappointed! and also joining is a new comer, Captain Mustneverwin...I mean Captain Munnerlyn. All in all it looks like a good year for the Warbuck hoarding owner!


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Bergen Brawlers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 4:13 pm

Once upon a time in a land far far away, a fairy princess was celebrating her birthday.  In rolls this guy



and offers her a favor (wink wink).  Not sure if he thinks he's Ryan Reynolds or Kareem but I'm sure that the princess had other plans in mind for the night.  Well, it goes without saying that



But at least she got a clean bathroom.  Let's all raise our glasses and drink one for Craig's attempt to be sexy one last time.

We love you Craig.  But don't show up at my house in a Speedo.


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Philadelphia Pigskins
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 7:24 pm

This team still reeks of Tebow


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Rocky Mountain Oysters
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sat Jun 25, 2016 6:30 am



[/quote]


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Indiana Mayhem
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sat Jun 25, 2016 8:01 am

Mrs. Eternals wrote:
Featuring the Notgoodby Design

Owner: Craig I'mgoodatsidegamesbutsuck@runningmyteam
Offense: Farrah Fuckit
Head Coach: Most Ridiculous Coach in RosterWars
Defense: Chuck Nowins

The Notgoodby Design will be able to keep it's namesake this year thanks to some "great" defensive players such as Vonn Bell who has recently changed his name to, Vonn noI'mnotLe'Veon Bell, Mychal Kendricks was purchased back in 2012 as Coach Nowins thought his name was Mychal Cansuckdicks, boy was he disappointed! and also joining is a new comer, Captain Mustneverwin...I mean Captain Munnerlyn.  All in all it looks like a good year for the Warbuck hoarding owner!

Is there really anymore to say?

Stick with side games.




Last edited by Indiana Mayhem on Sun Jun 26, 2016 7:47 am; edited 1 time in total
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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sat Jun 25, 2016 10:21 am

I believe the church has chosen to distance themselves with this team because it sucks so much. God himself felt there was no saving this shit.


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California Nightmare
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sat Jun 25, 2016 11:46 am

If I was the owner of this team I would nail myself to a burning cross.

Craig thinks WB's are actually used to pay the girls in the NSFW thread because he spends so much time jerking off in there.

Can you really expect a Bears fan to be good at anything?

This team is so good at sucking I feel suction on my balls whenever I glance at the shitty logo.

Tim Tebow will have sex (with a girl or guy) before this shit stain of a franchise wins anything.


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Rocky Mountain Oysters
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sat Jun 25, 2016 2:50 pm

This team is so bad that the main Pink signature photo is already picked out for the end of the season.



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Indiana Mayhem
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sun Jun 26, 2016 7:48 am

Sometimes Ed leaves me speechless. Youre team is really bad apparently.


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Morrison Minions
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:26 am

Craig's team is so bad, it SUCKS! haha ahh.


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Philadelphia Pigskins
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:33 am

Morrison Minions wrote:
Craig's team is so bad, it SUCKS! haha ahh.

Someone always has to take it too far...


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:59 am

Philadelphia Pigskins wrote:
Morrison Minions wrote:
Craig's team is so bad, it SUCKS! haha ahh.

Someone always has to take it too far...



laughing


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Naperville Divine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:04 am

That was fantastic. I am surprised that you dummies were able to come up with such good posts. I was throughly entertained and laughed the entire time.

Nick...You are a Packer's fan. What else could I say to make you feel any worse.
Mark...You have lizards all over you. Again, what else can I say.
Russ...Your neck looks like an uncircumsized penis.
Val...Are you having a bad hair day or is that your walk of shame hat from college?
Ed...Enterprise Rent-A-Car called last night. They said you left a trenchcoat and bag of lollypops in the back seat of your rental.
Greg...That suction on your balls isnt my team, it is Shawn visiting from Colorado.
Carla...The makeup in your picture makes you look like a demented clown.

Once again, great job everyone.


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Littleton SilverBallers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:04 am

Wow Craig!? Didn't realize your team was that bad!! Guess you better do some Hail Mary's to get this team back on track duckhunt


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Morrison Minions
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:16 am

Philadelphia Pigskins wrote:
Morrison Minions wrote:
Craig's team is so bad, it SUCKS! haha ahh.

Someone always has to take it too far...

You're right. I think I hurt his feelings.


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:18 am

Good post Craig. Glad you found some humor in it, I asked Andy to do my roast starting tomorrow. Hopefully I won't regret that. As you can see I'm rotating though DD and TT in order.

But yeah Craig, your team sucks nards.


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Philadelphia Pigskins
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Sun Jun 26, 2016 11:47 am

I'm just going to leave this here:



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Indiana Mayhem
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Mon Jun 27, 2016 12:24 pm

Naperville Divine wrote:
That was fantastic.  I am surprised that you dummies were able to come up with such good posts.  I was throughly entertained and laughed the entire time.  

Nick...You are a Packer's fan.  What else could I say to make you feel any worse.
Mark...You have lizards all over you.  Again, what else can I say.
Russ...Your neck looks like an uncircumsized penis.
Val...Are you having a bad hair day or is that your walk of shame hat from college?
Ed...Enterprise Rent-A-Car called last night.  They said you left a trenchcoat and bag of lollypops in the back seat of your rental.
Greg...That suction on your balls isnt my team, it is Shawn visiting from Colorado.
Carla...The makeup in your picture makes you look like a demented clown.

Once again, great job everyone.

I am wearing makeup?


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San Francisco Golddiggers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 2- Naperville Divine (Craig)   Mon Jun 27, 2016 9:22 pm

Demented clown... not sure I see that with or without makeup.


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