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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 2:57 pm


You only roast the ones you love. Ahhh, what a saying. What a tradition. And it is the offseason, so what the hell? Let's roast eachother. One by one, we will go through rosters, franchise moves, the draft, and any personal thing you can find funny about the owner in an attempt to show your respect for them. Please take everything with a grain of salt, no hard feelings, and if someone tears you apart, go after them in their roast. Without further ado, I open up the roast of our fearless leader, Andy.

Andy, I will start out by saying that I respect you as a fantasy owner. But we just made a deal. You traded away a bright future, a young star in the making, and a QB with loaded youthful talent around him for this guy.



What were you thinking? Do you like whiners? You are going to have the above look on your face every Sunday in 2016.

The Funny thing is that the Podcast guys who acted like they knew fantasy really liked your team. I guess they have about in much in common with you as we thought.

It's a good thing you were able to unload Sankey, but I see you still have Justin Hunter. If you have more to tell us about him maybe you should raise your hand and place it over your mouth.

You did trade for David Johnson this offseason, it is a good thing he has shown a long body of work that proves success.......

Also, I see Von Miller is on your roster. Good job being name guy.

The only thing Eternal about this team is the shitty feeling that you will have with all the poor decisions you have made over the last 6 months.

In all honesty, you are one hell of a commissioner, a respected foe, and a dedicated fantasy freak that gives more time than anyone I know so that we can have an awesome place for our passion for fantasy. Thanks, I am not done with you, but I will unleash the hounds!

GO!


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 3:15 pm



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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 4:47 pm

.............. (Waiting for others....)


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England Dragons
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 4:48 pm

I'd like to thank Andy for the $20 he's going to be sending my way when he loses our season long bet.

I like free money. Thanks Andy.







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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 4:55 pm

England Dragons wrote:
I'd like to thank Andy for the $20 he's going to be sending my way when he loses our season long bet.

I like free money. Thanks Andy.






Are you saying that his team sucks giant donkey dick? Because if so, here's the place to put that.


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England Dragons
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 4:58 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
England Dragons wrote:
I'd like to thank Andy for the $20 he's going to be sending my way when he loses our season long bet.

I like free money. Thanks Andy.






Are you saying that his team sucks giant donkey dick? Because if so, here's the place to put that.

No, I'm too polite to say such outrageous things. I'm just happy that Andy agreed to give me $20 for nothing.

Giving away $20 to a bitter rival who has beaten you senseless for 4 straight years hurts much more than a few meaningless words.

raise eyebrow



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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 5:25 pm

Being first is nice....kid gloves...



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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 5:43 pm

Or this feature is just not as cool as I thought it would be.


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Tarpon Springs RedKnights
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 6:03 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Or this feature is just not as cool as I thought it would be.
Bro dont give up on it so quickly.


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Rocky Mountain Oysters
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 6:44 pm

I would really like to participate and roast the Minnesota Eternals but I'm afraid of the backlash:



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Philadelphia Pigskins
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 6:52 pm

Hey Andy- remember the beatdown my team put on yours in week 16 last year in our 'So Close Combat' matchup.  It's ironic it was called that, since it wasn't close at all.  I guess that's what you get with the whole twilight thing you have going on over there.



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Atlanta Africans
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 8:28 pm

The saying goes: Those who can't do, teach....
Or in the case of FF they commish the league laughing


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 9:16 pm

Philadelphia Pigskins wrote:
Hey Andy- remember the beatdown my team put on yours in week 16 last year

Nope. Shitty memory buddy. Check and mate! Laughing


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Philadelphia Pigskins
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 9:33 pm

Minnesota Eternals wrote:
Philadelphia Pigskins wrote:
Hey Andy- remember the beatdown my team put on yours in week 16 last year

Nope.  Shitty memory buddy.  Check and mate!  Laughing

No worries man.  I'm here to help refresh it.  Happy to help! cheers



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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 9:54 pm

Looks like a Beatdown to me.


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Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 9:55 pm

I just wanted to let you know that I've been really busy, but I've got a couple of awesome things that I'm working on for this roast which will be revealed shortly.


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Morrison Minions
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 10:28 pm

Andy's team SUCKS

Hahaha ahhhahhhaaa ha.

Ahh.


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 10:28 pm

Whiskey Creek Gadabouts wrote:
I just wanted to let you know that I've been really busy, but I've got a couple of awesome things that I'm working on for this roast which will be revealed shortly.

By awesome things, I know you are not talking about Andy's TE group.


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Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 10:30 pm

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Whiskey Creek Gadabouts wrote:
I just wanted to let you know that I've been really busy, but I've got a couple of awesome things that I'm working on for this roast which will be revealed shortly.

By awesome things, I know you are not talking about Andy's TE group.

Oh no, I've got some ideas.. you know, nothing I can reveal now, but you know.. keep pressing F5. I think you guys will like the changes at least it makes more sense to me.

Oh yeah, I'm also going to switch the forum organization around for the 38th time.


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Philadelphia Pigskins
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 10:34 pm

Whiskey Creek Gadabouts wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Whiskey Creek Gadabouts wrote:
I just wanted to let you know that I've been really busy, but I've got a couple of awesome things that I'm working on for this roast which will be revealed shortly.

By awesome things, I know you are not talking about Andy's TE group.

Oh no, I've got some ideas.. you know, nothing I can reveal now, but you know.. keep pressing F5.  I think you guys will like the changes at least it makes more sense to me.  

Oh yeah, I'm also going to switch the forum organization around for the 38th time.

rofl


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 10:36 pm

Whiskey Creek Gadabouts wrote:
Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Whiskey Creek Gadabouts wrote:
I just wanted to let you know that I've been really busy, but I've got a couple of awesome things that I'm working on for this roast which will be revealed shortly.

By awesome things, I know you are not talking about Andy's TE group.

Oh no, I've got some ideas.. you know, nothing I can reveal now, but you know.. keep pressing F5.  I think you guys will like the changes at least it makes more sense to me.  

Oh yeah, I'm also going to switch the forum organization around for the 38th time.

OMFG that flew right over my head. That shit is funny. What a cock tease. laughing


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California Nightmare
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 11:30 pm

Eternals...more like mehternals.

This fucking roster looks like a prince albert piercing. A couple studs at the top and absolutely nothing worth a shit the rest of the way down.

Andy's notes after studying for the draft...
Cardale Jones - I need him to back up EJ.
Jaylon Smith - I really have no fucking idea what I am doing anyways.
De'Runnya Wilson - He has run in his name. He must run fast. Hey, I run. Fuck yeah!

Beware of the new fierce logo featuring a fucking constipated vampire with a white moose head in his hairline and fake eyelashes that have fallen on his cheek. Pulled a classic Cleveland Browns with the new logo unveil.

Oh my god, did I step in elephant shit? Oh no, nevermind, was just looking at the mehternals roster.

How can Roster Wars be better? How about a fucking payout to the league for having to watch you be a fantasy football owner.




I will end on this note... as Nick said, this is all in fun! You are a top shelf president and I am honored to be a part of Roster Wars. What you do with your franchise is your damn business.


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Thu Jun 23, 2016 11:43 pm



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Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 6:12 am

Prince albert piercing. ROFL


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 7:02 am

I felt the anger Greg. That post was fantastic.


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Indiana Mayhem
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 7:05 am



Seriously you let the newbies to IDP beat you in their first year?

Nuff said.


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Bergen Brawlers
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 8:13 am

9290.44
277.56

It looks like we could roast Andy just by revisiting the 2015 regular season.


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Maple Grove Mean Machine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 8:41 am

Andy should stop fishing and concentrate more on his shitty Tight Ends! Blow the shit up, find someone of the street or in prison for that matter.

The only thing worse would be: masterbating with sandpaper.


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:14 am

If Andy's roster was a porn star it would be Jenna Jameson, because it sucks tons of dick.


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Mrs. Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:18 am

The Minnesota Eternals....You mean the ManIsuck Turdballs!


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Rocky Mountain Oysters
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:35 am

Even Erin Andrews thinks his team blows.



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Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 9:54 am

I know that Andy has somewhat of a doom and gloom image/persona going on with his Eternals theme.  Personally, I think he's probably compensating for something.  I think, on the inside, he probably has more of Bob's Pink Round 1 feelings.  I sense that coming up with those images for Bob really wasn't much of a stretch for Andy.  He probably went into his mancave and snapped photos of the my little ponies on his walls and decided to transfer them to Bob.

Not a lot of people know this, but before releasing his new vampire logo, Andy ran it by me.  The current vampire is actually his 4th attempt.  Luckily, I kept screenshots of his first three.  

Version 1:
 

After a series of text messages and emails back and forth Andy agreed that self-portraits probably wouldn't work well on the site.  The entire purpose is to go with something fictional or fantastical and not the "window to the soul" that he was going after.  

About 3 days later, I received round 2 fully expecting some hatred and anger, but was even more shocked when I opened up the email:
Version 2:
 

For the love of God Andy!  This is NOT what I meant when I said fantasy or fiction.  at this point, I was becoming a little exasperated.  Andy wasn't getting it.  Maybe if I talk to Val.. Maybe she can help set Andy straight... But, oh no, I couldn't talk with her.. she was busy...

Give me one more chance he says.. I can get it right.  Fine.. But, it shouldn't be a real person and if you're going to try to go with this goth scary facade, it should represent that...

Version 3:
 

I give up!  Seriously, just go talk to Val and let her come up with something, bc with each of these you are begging for pink!  Luckily for us, Valerie was able to change Andy's mind on his choice of logo, but she also sent me this Gif of Andy's reaction when I said he was begging for Pink...


Andy's Reaction:
 




Last edited by Whiskey Creek Gadabouts on Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:21 am; edited 1 time in total
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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:00 am

Wow I never knew that about Andy. Damn that's pretty gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Could be a topic of discussion in the next hangout.


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Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:01 am

Titletown Tyrants wrote:
Wow I never knew that about Andy. Damn that's pretty gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Could be a topic of discussion in the next hangout.

No, no, of course not! People's personal sexual preferences are nobody's business but their own!


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Mrs. Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:03 am

Andrew Mettayer you mean Andrew MeGayer....not that there is anything wrong with that.


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:08 am

MeGayer. Ha. Ha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


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California Nightmare
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:13 am

Mrs. Eternals wrote:
Andrew Mettayer you mean Andrew MeGayer....

mic drop

rofl laughing


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Mrs. Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:15 am

Featuring the ManISuck Turdballs

Owner: Andrew MeGayer
Offensive Coach: RideDick
"Head" Coach: Jamey BigJAWsta
Defense: Handletheballs Lickturd

With his "amazing" RB team:
Juwan Thompson or as I call him Juwanna TradethisDude, Charcandrick West or as he is known in the locker room Cansuckadick Best and the always popular Matt Farty...oh excuse me Matt Forte...


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Philadelphia Pigskins
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:20 am

Mrs. Eternals wrote:
Featuring the ManISuck Turdballs

Owner: Andrew MeGayer
Offensive Coach: RideDick
"Head" Coach: Jamey BigJAWsta
Defense: Handletheballs Lickturd

With his "amazing" RB team:
Juwan Thompson or as I call him Juwanna TradethisDude, Charcandrick West or as he is known in the locker room Cansuckadick Best and the always popular Matt Farty...oh excuse me Matt Forte...


rofl rofl


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Whiskey Creek Gadabouts
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:22 am

Mrs. Eternals wrote:
Featuring the ManISuck Turdballs

Owner: Andrew MeGayer
Offensive Coach: RideDick
"Head" Coach: Jamey BigJAWsta
Defense: Handletheballs Lickturd

With his "amazing" RB team:
Juwan Thompson or as I call him Juwanna TradethisDude, Charcandrick West or as he is known in the locker room Cansuckadick Best and the always popular Matt Farty...oh excuse me Matt Forte...

Awesome. Evil laugh


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California Nightmare
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:26 am

Mrs. Eternals wrote:
Featuring the ManISuck Turdballs

Owner: Andrew MeGayer
Offensive Coach: RideDick
"Head" Coach: Jamey BigJAWsta
Defense: Handletheballs Lickturd

With his "amazing" RB team:
Juwan Thompson or as I call him Juwanna TradethisDude, Charcandrick West or as he is known in the locker room Cansuckadick Best and the always popular Matt Farty...oh excuse me Matt Forte...

bow clap clap


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Kane County Goon Squad
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:33 am

WOW --- MRS. E - HITTIN' IT OUTTA THE PARK TODAY!!!!

high five


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Mrs. Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:52 am

I can be funny sometimes....


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Mrs. Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 11:26 am

Mrs. Eternals wrote:
Featuring the ManISuck Turdballs

Owner: Andrew MeGayer
Offensive Coach: RideDick
"Head" Coach: Jamey BigJAWsta
Defense: Handletheballs Lickturd

With his "amazing" RB team:
Juwan Thompson or as I call him Juwanna TradethisDude, Charcandrick West or as he is known in the locker room Cansuckadick Best and the always popular Matt Farty...oh excuse me Matt Forte...

and lets not forget about the defensive ends. I give you JJ Watt better known as BJ Twat and Timmy Jernigan aka Timmy Jerkitagain. Yes, these two men certainly know how to tackle other men.


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 12:40 pm

This was a great idea Nick. When I win 2016 it's gonna be just a bit sweeter now. Oh...and...


Mrs Eternals > Would you like to delete user? > YES

ass kicking


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Maple Grove Mean Machine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 1:32 pm

Minnesota Eternals wrote:
This was a great idea Nick.  When I win 2016 it's gonna be just a bit sweeter now.  Oh...and...


Mrs Eternals > Would you like to delete user? > YES

ass kicking

eating popcorn open mouth


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:00 pm

lol3

When your wife gets funny, you get even!  In this case, maybe some revocation of abilities will get her ass back in line.  

That or when we go fishing tonight maybe we test a new feature....


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Titletown Tyrants
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:04 pm

HAHA, I was expecting that, but it was still funny.


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Minnesota Eternals
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:09 pm

He should have walked back and kicked her pumps off the back of the boat. They're a safety hazard after all.


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Maple Grove Mean Machine
 
 
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PostSubject: Re: Roast 1- Minnesota Eternals (Andy)   Fri Jun 24, 2016 2:19 pm

Or this one!


https://youtu.be/hzAwU_1JzYI


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